Advice from a Fat Kid on Healthy Eating

Almonds are now an excellent addition to your diet, even outside of Almond Joys. Fat kid humor. Anyway, these little nibblers are one of the most nutritious of the nut family. They are beneficial in all sorts of ways...

Cancer Prevention - Almonds are low in saturated fat and contain many other protective nutrients - calcium and magnesium - for strong bones, vitamin E and compounds called phytochemicals, which may help protect against cardiovascular disease and even cancer.

Reduce Heart Attack Risk - A Loma Linda School of Public Health study showed those who consumed nuts five times a week had a 50% reduction in risk of heart attack. In addition to their cholesterol-lowering effects, almonds' ability to reduce heart disease risk may also be partly due to the antioxidant action of the vitamin E found in them, as well as to the LDL-lowering effect of almonds' monounsaturated fats.

And finally, almonds contain rhizveritrol, the anti-inflammatory agent found in red wines. Rhizveritrol is thought to be responsible for the "French paradox" which is scientist talk for the fact that Frenchies have fewer instances of heart disease than Americans, despite the French's affinity for cream sauces and buttery pastries.

I decided to put the French paradox to work in my diet, starting with my dessert. Last night, I made my first batch of healthy chocolate cupcakes....

at Rogue Brewery in Newport (and Portland), Oregon

There are three Rogue locations in Oregon, two in Newport and one in Portland. I was down doing some crabbing in Newport and had a few hours to kill. What better way to spend time than sucking down beer at a brewery while unsuspecting crabs climb into a cage for dinner? We chucked the crab pots over the side of the dock and walked the couple hundred yards to the conveniently located Rogue Brewery.

At the Newport Rogue location, you start your experience with a self-guided walking tour of their brewery. Like an appetizer, this whets your beeretite. Swing through the cozy gift shop before heading upstairs. At the top of the stairs, you’re confronted with two choices: go right into the light, sunny restaurant area or left into the dark wood, no-kids-allowed bar. I chose the dark side.

With bar seating facing a beautiful view of the harbor, Rogue is in a premier spot for scenery. But we were only there for beer-gazing. Rogue does what every great brewery should do (ahem Henry’s in Portland) and offers beer tastings. The knowledgeable and friendly bartender guided us through the choices posted on a marker board (bring your glasses) according to my (mostly darks, not bitter) and my pal’s (pales and ambers) preferences. He also recommended a couple of his favorites and mentioned the most “arse-kickin” brew, which I took to be a direct challenge.

In bars with typical beer selections, I often order a Blue Moon, so I put down one Rogue hef. choice: Mom’s Half-a-weizen. It was a light beer with a delicious fruity flavor. Not your typical cloudy hef, it was clear and it had almost no aftertaste. The level of fruitiness in the flavor had me thinking of pear and other fruity ales, but it wasn’t quite that sweet. Definitely a beer choice for those who don’t like beer.

A self-proclaimed anti-bitterist, I was apprehensive about Brutal Bitter. It ended up not being too bad. Some bitters have an acid-reflux burn to them, but this one was fairly mild. It had a lemon taste of which I wasn’t a huge fan. Pledge anyone?

Is it permissible to just put a sad face next to Sigs North Western? Well it’s my blog, so I’m going to. :-(

The pick of the day was the Chocolate Stout, so we’d already had our free sampler of that. To take it up a notch, the bartender recommended Snickers: a combination of Chocolate Stout and Hazelnut Brown. Hello liquid candy bar! This is a great choice for those lazy folks like me who think eating and drinking should be a combined activity. Also a definite pick for coffee-lovers. Sweet (not too sweet, but close), creamy, and thick, this combo left me drooling.

A little bartender humor for you: our man behind the bar told us of a few other combination beers that people put together for the fun of naming them. The best (or worst, depending on your sense of humor) was a mix of Dead Guy and Mogul that is aptly named Sunny Bono. See, drunks have great senses of humor...

The Hazelnut Brown by itself was also a nice dark brew, buttery, a bit sweet and not at all bitter. As the Oregon State Nut, I felt it was only appropriate to order it and sing the Oregon State Song to the entire bar. My friend talked me out of it, which was for the best because I was only bluffing about knowing the song.

The final beer I tried was best left for last, because if I’d tried it first I’d probably have run in fear. Old Crustacean Barley Wine. I nearly spit this beer out after my first chug. I’m pretty sure they actually brew this very dark beer in the bottom of the ocean in a crustacean – it has bite! With an alcohol content of over 12%, it’s their most intoxicating beer, although I don’t mean that in a good way. This is like the extreme sport of beers; you drink it for the experience. My Papa has always said that beer puts hair on a person’s chest. I think Old Crustacean is beer that’ll put it on your chest and then singe it off by the time you’ve swallowed. Arse-kickin indeed.

Food. Oh yeah, that. We sampled a few appetizers, the best of which was the chicken strips. It’s about time a restaurant makes their own ranch, and Rogue knows how to make great ranch. The menu has a lot of choices, which was nice for a brewery. The apps are nicely priced, but the entrees aren’t cheap. I opted to mainly spend my money on liquid.

Overall, this is a great place to go. I will definitely be going back. Great beer selection, everything I could want in a bartender, cool brewery atmosphere complete with crotchety old fisherman at the bar and funny signs to read, and good food.

Fun fact: Rogue bars are dog friendly and even have water dishes for their four-legged customers. My dog only drinks Tequila though, so they’ll have to make amends for him. Belly up, Fido.

Rating: /5

Contact: http://rogue.com

And for those info junkies, the Oregon State Song:

Oregon, My Oregon

Words by J.A. Buchanan

Music by Henry B. Murtagh

Land of the Empire Builders, Land of the Golden West;
Conquered and held by free men, Fairest and the best.
On-ward and upward ever, Forward and on, and on;
Hail to thee, Land of the Heroes, My Oregon.

Land of the rose and sunshine, Land of the summer's breeze;
Laden with health and vigor, Fresh from the western seas.
Blest by the blood of martyrs, Land of the setting sun;
Hail to thee, Land of Promise, My Oregon.

at Henry's 12th St. Tavern in Portland, Oregon

In response to the service I've received upon dining at Henry's 12th St. Tavern on three occasions, I've modeled the following review after their service - dry, dull and direct.

During Happy Hour (3-6 M-Sa and 9-close M-Th/10-close F&Sa), Henry’s lower bar is a place where three to four people can take $15 and eat like they’re at a Vegas buffet. Food on Happy Hour is cheap, cheap, cheap. Beers and booze, which cure the 9-5 blues somewhat better than mac ‘n cheese (no matter how gourmet), are not on sale. They’re also not cheap. My solution: get boozricated elsewhere and go to Henry’s to satisfy your drunk-munchies.

Off Happy Hour or dining the restaurant: Don’t bother. The food is overpriced and the service is mediocre, at best. 101 beers on the menu don’t mean much if the server can’t make a recommendation or be bothered to smile on occasion. If you simply must sample the beer selection outside of happy hour, sit at the bar where you have at least a 50/50 chance of knowledgeable and prompt service.

Rating: /5

Contact: http://henrystavern.com

Advice from a Fat Kid on Wine

I once met a 90-year-old man once who gave me the following advice, “Always buy, never rent.” He meant property of course, but, as most fat kids do, I chose to apply the advice to the practice of eating and drinking.

Thus, here is my nugget of wisdom to you, “For tables of two or more, the bottle is what you should pour.” Not only is it a better value to just buy the whole bottle, it’s also exciting. There’s something more grown up and posh about the full bottle, no matter what your numerical age. To order the bottle, taste the first pour, nod, and then watch the sommelier fill the other glasses...that is the full experience of wine.

As the Scottish poet Robert Louis Stevenson once said, “Wine is bottled poetry.” So why buy a stanza when the whole poem is there for the enjoying?

at Sweet Life Patisserie in Eugene, Oregon

Sweet Life Patisserie

The Sweet Life Patisserie is a romantic sweets shop in Eugene. It’s so romantic that my dear friend and her now-fiancé had their first date and subsequent marriage proposal over Sweet Life desserts. It’s almost too much sweetness to stomach.

Alas, we must set aside the overall adorable appearance of the shop and the beautiful displays of desserts and get down to the important stuff: what my palette said. Unfortunately, a long-term relationship is not in store for Sweet Life and my mouth. Although the desserts have beautiful presentation, they are lacking in flavor and “deeee-lish,” as so often store-made desserts are. When I sit down with a homemade cake or batch of brownies, I have certain expectation: to uncontrollably smile after the first bite, to simultaneously wish that I could have another bite and that each bite could last forever, to enjoy the texture and flavor so much that I can only be held back from eating the entire pan by a sheer thread of willpower.

Of the five desserts I sampled from Sweet Life Patisserie, only one had this effect. To begin with, the carrot cake was made up of splendidly moist carrot cake separated by a line of decadent cream cheese frosting. Had they stopped there, I would have been left drooling over my plate. Unfortunately, it was then coated with a thick, bland frosting that was neither cream cheese based nor delicious. Next. The oreo cheesecake was passed around and one friend, Piper, summed it up best with, “Well…it tastes like oreo cheesecake.” This from a girl who will literally call me at midnight wondering if I can come over and help eat the pan of brownies of which she’s already devoured half. The other two cakes I tried were not as bad, but they were also nothing memorable.

I unfortunately tried the one impressive item when I was already full and sick to my stomach from the four preceding desserts, but I somehow managed to belly up and eat the whole thing. Please listen for the sound of sarcasm marching through. I am a sweets fanatic. When I say I don’t enjoy a dessert, it’s something to heed. When I say something was so good that I finished it even though I was on sugar overload, it’s also time to take notes. The chocolate peanut butter cup is to the Reeses peanut butter cup what a powerboat is to a wooden row boat…it just blows Reeses out of the water.

The atmosphere of Sweet Life Patisserie is captivating, and I will not deny it would be a great date spot. But for those looking for more in the taste-bud department, meet me at Piper’s at midnight.

Rating:

/5

Contact: http://sweetlifedesserts.com

at Bamboo Sushi in Portland, Oregon

Bamboo Sushi is tucked away in a neighborhood on the East Bank of the Willamette River. Don’t be alarmed by the number of minivans and Subaru hatchbacks as you search the quiet streets for parking. The crowd inside Bamboo is anything but suburban. This little nook of nosh entertained romantic couples, cliques of happy hour chicks, men still in suits, and our party: a fun 20-something assortment of sushi novices and aficionados.

Sushi: Our amenable sushi virgin sampled his first California Roll and soon braved the more advanced signature rolls including Chasing the Dragon, Highway 35, and Lucky 13. His assessment was, “Good.” Let’s delve a bit deeper…Chasing the Dragon had a delightful blend of textures, including a nice crunch from the fish eggs. As with most, the spicy tuna didn’t have much of a spicy kick, but I was amazed with the flavor. Highway 35’s sake poached pears made a fan out of me. On the menu there appeared to be too many ingredients in Highway 35, but on the palette it was perfection.

Dragon Roll pictured above

Sashimi: Piper, the sushitarian of the group, ordered us each to try the salmon sashimi with lemon on it and togarashi to dip in. It was delicious, even for the less-than-zealous-sashimi samplers (okay one of them was me).

Cooked Food: For vegetarians or those who don’t like sushi, there is a wide assortment of non-fish and/or cooked foods, including edamame that is brought out with the water. We only sampled one (I mean we were at a sushi restaurant), but it was a masterpiece:

“Seared sesame crusted tuna with caramelized eggplant and roasted garlic chili emulsion.”

This spicy dish is not for the faint tongued (nor the faint hearted as tuna may have been injured in the making of it). They nailed this dish in texture, taste and originality. You’ve heard of the saying “finger lickin good?” I have an amended version I am known to use, “It’s so good I would lick it off trash.” So if you find this delight in a dumpster, you know who to email!

Drinks: I had the coco chanel drink (vodka and crème de cocao, with a splash of kahlua served with half paprika sugared rim) ,of which nobody at our table was a fan. Surely there is someone out there who would enjoy it, but that person would have to like to drink paprika. That person is not me. The drink would’ve probably been perfection without the paprika, but unfortunately it fell from rim to drink before I could confirm. I would have tried another, but the tiny cocktails were a hefty $8. Piper and Mollie enjoyed the Ponzi Pinot Gris, Oregon 2007, which they said was sharp but refreshing. Full bar, sake, a decent beer selection and a few wines filled out the alcohol selection.

Price: Sushi signature rolls ranged from $11-17. Sashimi is $4.50-6 for two pieces. For those who love sushi, the prices are worth it. For those looking for an inexpensive night out with friends, go elsewhere. Great date place: cozy, loud enough to help the first date nerves, quiet enough to chat without shouting.

Rating: /5

Contact: http://bamboosushipdx.com or 503.232.5255

at La Perla Neapolitan Pizza in Eugene, Oregon

Like any fat kid, I considered myself a pizza connoisseur from age four. That was until I traveled in Italy. There are now two divisions of my relationship with pizza: pre and post-Italy. Pre was a sort of pizza adolescence, a time for learning, before my taste buds fully developed. America was my pizza training bra, if you will. Post-Italy…well consider me a fully developed pizza-picky woman. In Italy last summer, my dish of choice was the margarita pizza: fresh tomato sauce, good ole Italian cheese laced with basil, piled four inches high with fresh “rucola” (arugula to make it healthy, of course). Every time I sat down with a handwritten Italian menu, I’d promise to order something different, at least for experience sake. But what leapt off my tongue was continuously, “Margarita pizza, per favore.”

Upon returning to the States, I made it my mission to find Italian caliber pizza. This nearly proved to be an impossible quest. Just as I was about to pawn my Italian boots for a plane ticket to The Boot, I visited Eugene, Oregon: the unlikely site of what will now be dubbed America’s Best Italian Pizza. La Perla Neapolitan Pizza in Eugene (home of the Ducks – quack!) brought tears of pride to my eyes. With decorative shades of Tuscany orange and brick oven red evident inside and on the patio, an open pizza kitchen and a bar with a football game on the TV, La Perle was clearly trying to disguise itself as an American pizza joint dressed up as an Italian eatery. I ordered my Margarita Pizza finished off with loads of uncooked arugula and awaited disappointment. Apparently disappointment had other plans, because it stood me up. One bite of pizza put a Mediterranean sized smile on my face. Had our server been a grinning Italian man with mischievous black curls and a husky odor instead of a sullen teenage girl, I would have been convinced I was back in Napoli. As it was, I was content to close my eyes and let the flavors take me across the ocean.

The crust was the perfect blend of chewy with a kicky crunch. The sauce wasn’t souped on nor was it skimpy. Nowhere in taste was the too-sweet tomato paste flavor that is an instant recipe for heartburn. The cheese wasn’t saddled with the pockets of grease that usually have me reaching for napkins to pat down my slice. The basil was woven in among the cheese like a sinuous lady. The combination was so traditional it was shocking. I ate nearly a full pizza myself and still felt light and comfortable. My three tablemates split two pizzas and cleaned up my remaining two slices, all deeming themselves pleasantly full. Nobody wiped grease from fingers; even my deep dish lover deemed La Perle a win. Salute!

Secrets: I didn’t have to wonder for long about how an American restaurant could master the Italian pizza style. According to the table reading, owners John “Gianni” Barofsky and Beppe Macchi hold themselves to the Italian standard of authentic Napoletana-certified classification of pizza production. Ingredients are laid on the dough, which is then cooked for 90 seconds in a domed, wood-burning oven that reaches temperatures of 700-1,500 degrees. Should they be giving these secrets away??

The menu boasts a great variety of other pizzas, as well as some salads and other dishes for those who don’t care for pizza (as if those people exist). Buon Appetito!

Rating:

/5

Contact: http://laperlapizzeria.com or 541.686.1313